


But what if....

by FelicityGS



Series: That Slightly Less Problematic ABO Verse with Not Gross Social Dynamics [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Being A Good Boyfriend, Boyfriends, Drama, M/M, don't overthink it bb, that one where tony fucks up because he's trying too hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 08:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3440345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FelicityGS/pseuds/FelicityGS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Loki have been together for a few months now, and everything <em>seems</em> like it's going well. At least until Clint makes an off-hand comment and Tony finds he's suddenly not so sure he's not being the Worst Boyfriend Ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But what if....

**Author's Note:**

  * For [schroedingersfox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/schroedingersfox/gifts).



> The sequel neither wanted nor asked for, it is nevertheless the one I wrote. Maybe one day I'll get around to Loki confronting his parents, but for right now there's just Tony freaking out about whether he's a good boyfriend or not.

**1.**

Things with Loki are….

Tony won’t say perfect, that’s too much a cliche, and the problem is he doesn’t think they are--he thinks what they are is _too smooth_. Too easy. Loki came back from Tuscany and ever since they just sort of slotted together.

So either things are good, or Tony is fucking up spectacularly and Loki hasn’t told him yet.

(Not that Tony is _complaining_ about how smooth things move between them. And Loki definitely still yells at him sometimes, mostly when he isn’t already ready for a press conference or meeting or that schematic Pepper wants isn’t delivered yet, and does Tony _know_ what he’s doing to Loki’s _life_ , _how_ has Loki ended up with someone with such an _awful_ sense of time—

On it goes. Tony usually has to keep from smiling, which gets Loki smiling, before they both laugh.)

But Tony is _pretty sure_ there’s supposed to be more that he’s supposed to be doing. He’s just not sure _what_.

***

“Oh my god, could you two not?” Clint asks, rolling his eyes and making fake gagging noises.

Tony looks over from where he’s just slid down on the couch next to Loki, blinking a bit. Loki didn’t say anything when Tony wandered over and got all in his personal space, just murmured a bit and shifted so Tony could rest his chin on Loki’s shoulder.

“Always with the touching,” Clint adds, wiggling his fingers, before he disappears off into the kitchen.

Tony frowns.

“Ignore him,” Loki says. Loki hasn’t even stirred with Clint’s little outburst, still scrolling through a news site. “It’s your tower anyway.”

***

Tony starts to try to pay attention after that.

He does touch Loki a lot. All the time a lot. Whenever he sees him, never mind who’s around. He also always gets between Loki and other people when possible. Should he be doing that? It smells of being too alpha to Tony, subconscious stuff that he hadn’t even picked up on.

Tony _likes_ what he has with Loki. He doesn’t want to fuck this up.

“Sir,” Jarvis says when Tony turns to the internet for help, “while _how to be a good boyfriend if I'm an alpha_  is an admirable search, might I recommend simply speaking to Loki?”

“Sure,” Tony says, and proceeds to ignore him.

***

Several hours later, he’s interrupted by Loki.

“What _are_ you doing?” Loki asks. Tony looks up, deer in the headlights, then realizes Loki’s dressed in sweats and Tony’s way too big MIT hoodie, hair in a loose pony for bed. Which means Loki’s sleeping here for once, and also that Tony has just lost several hours of his life to learning that he’s probably the _worst_ boyfriend _ever_.

Loki isn’t looking at Tony to see Tony close the webpage he was on, one of many that make it sound like Tony’s totally ignoring Loki. And just being a touchy alpha with no respect for personal boundaries. Who doesn’t pay attention to emotional needs. Right.

Tony can fix this.

“Research,” Tony says.

Loki’s eyebrows just keep climbing. Okay, maybe not Tony’s best on the spot answer, but it’s also not a lie.

“Research,” Loki repeats. There’s faint worry lines starting to appear between his brows. Tony stands up quickly, guiding Loki out of the lab.

“Research,” Tony repeats. “It’s cool. Come on, bed, right?”

Loki gives one last glance over the lab, then leans into Tony, apparently deciding it isn’t worth trying to figure out at this point.

Tony will start working on the not being as touchy thing tomorrow. He only just learned all this new stuff anyway.

**2.**

“Where are you going?” Tony asks as Loki slides into a pair of pants.

“Grocery store,” Loki says absently, searching around the floor for Tony’s hoodie again. It’s _comfortable_. “I will only be gone a minute.”

“Do you want company?”

Loki blinks, tugs the hoodie the rest of the way over and then looks at Tony. Tony looks earnest and Loki tries to sort it out.

Tony _never_ goes to the grocery store with him. Loki doesn’t ever really _want_ him to--Tony will attract attention and Loki is only running to grab snacks that he usually doesn’t keep in his apartment. The space to breathe after how emotionally overwhelming sex with Tony is nearly _necessary_ so he doesn’t feel a sap all night.

“No?” Loki says, but he’s been taken too off-guard; Tony is already starting to get up. “ _No_ ,” Loki repeats, firmer. He probably doesn’t need to, but he repeats himself again anyway, “No.”

Tony’s eyes are amber and confused and worried. What the hell?

“Are you sure?” Tony asks.

“Yes,” Loki snaps. He frowns a bit at Tony, then stomps off into the front room, slipping on his slippers and grabbing his keys and wallet before he heads out the door.

Odd. _Distressingly_ odd.

***

The oddity _continues_.

Tony tries to talk to him about opera. Tony _hates_ opera, and Loki has always enjoyed talking with Rogers about it--enjoyed how he has introduced Rogers to it and has been given a new perspective for it.

It’s…. _weird_.

***

Loki is used to being a sounding board for Tony’s emotions--typically when his partner is too tired to have much filter left, or some accident has called the Avengers out, when Fury has stomped on Tony’s nerves and left him shaken. It doesn’t matter much; there’s a satisfaction to hearing Tony’s rants, to listening to him eventually wind down and lean against Loki. It is better than the alcohol he hears Stark used to use as an outlet before Loki.

Besides, if Tony is telling Loki how he feels, then he is not asking _Loki_ to tell the same.

Tony returns from a meeting with Fury and is two seconds into what sounds like it will be an utterly _delicious_ rant when he stops suddenly.

“Nevermind,” Tony says tightly and storms off, leaving Loki blinking in his wake.

Or ( _worse_ ) how Tony is no longer touching him first, no longer sitting down between him and the rest of the room, how Loki finds himself greeting people at conferences and shaking more hands than he is comfortable with because Tony is suddenly not there, and he has no idea _why_.

He ends up investing in a moisturizing cream for his hands mostly out of deference to the fact he’s been washing them so much.

He feels constantly raw and exposed now; he’s not sure what’s changed for Tony. Was it the grocery trip? Should Loki have just let him come along? Or something else? They haven’t had any proper fights that he can remember, not recently, not ones that haven’t already been made up for a thousand times over between them.

Is he simply too needy? Is this something that happens? Loki doesn’t know--he hasn’t belonged to a group in so long, and he can barely remember how it felt when he fit with Thor when he was a child. He doesn’t think so, and nothing else has changed with the rest of the team….

Perhaps it’s only Tony?

The thought makes his stomach plummet--Loki has _no idea_ how he could deal with everyone else if he does not have the buffer that Tony provides, the implicit safety that Tony’s touch is the only touch that will brush his senses, that Tony will deflect and keep between him and the others. He may be close friends with the others now--they may be his pack--but they aren’t _Tony_.

Like _hell_ is he going to just let this slip away because _Tony_ got _bored_.

**3.**

Tony has _no idea_ how the hell people manage to keep this up. It’s _exhausting_ keeping himself from touching Loki, always waiting on Loki to touch first, always checking where he’s about to sit. It’s _terrible_ trying to learn enough about opera to not sound like an idiot when he tries to talk to Loki about it. He has what feels like day four of a migraine from holding his tongue instead of going on a three hour rant about all the ways he’s fed up with everything right now.

The surprise attack at Central Park hasn’t helped things, not even slightly.

He gets in, isn’t even out of his armour before he goes for the lab to bury himself under as much work as possible, as far from Loki as he can get himself short of going back to Malibu.

***

Tony isn’t quite sure when it happens, but at some point the tension between his shoulders releases. He doesn’t notice at first, just breathes out a breath he’s been holding ever since he started to dig around inside the car’s engine.

It takes until he needs the socket wrench again to realize _why_.

“Looking for this?” Loki says idly, voice sinful smooth. He’s lounging in the passenger’s seat of the old roadster, feet propped up on the dash with a book in his lap and eating. Eating. With his feet on the dash. Of _Tony’s car_.

The socket wrench dangles innocently from his other hand.

“Get your feet down!” Tony says, irritation getting the best of him as he tries to grab the wrench back.

Loki glances up, cocks one perfect eyebrow with that glimmer of mischief that Tony still hasn’t quite learned to be careful of.

“Make. Me.” Loki grins, clearly certain that Tony won’t risk it.

Tony eyes him back.

(He _really_ shouldn’t. He really _really_ shouldn’t, but gods Loki’s smirk is way too cocky, and Tony can follow the line of Loki’s throat to a collarbone not quite hidden by his shirt, hadn’t realized how much of his own tension had just been not being around Loki and fuck. It’s only a car.)

Tony lunges for the socket wrench.

Loki cackles, ducking away and still managing to hold the wrench just out of reach as Tony ends up in the car with him, on top of Loki as he squirms, trying to grab the wrench from Loki’s way too long reach and getting grease and oil on everything. Tony tries tickling him, ends up with Loki’s hand pushing at his face even as Tony grinds up between Loki’s legs just trying to get some sort of hold on him.

“No, no, it’s mine now!” Loki gasps out between gales of laughter. “You are ruining my shir--mmf!”

Tony smirks against Loki’s lips, sucks on his bottom lip, and snags the wrench at last. But then Loki’s legs are around his waist, and maybe the car can wait after all.

***

The shop blankets are _supposed_ to be thermal blankets for the cars, in case of getting stranded without fuel somewhere in the cold. Which is way more likely in New York than Malibu.

They make alright ‘post workshop sex’ blankets too.

Loki stretches a bit before getting comfortable against him again. He’s doing the thing that drives Tony absolutely crazy--not intentionally, Tony is _not_ telling Loki about it--where he rests his face just so on Tony’s chest so the tip of his nose rests right at the edge of the scar tissue on Tony’s chest. Sometimes, Tony can almost manage to feel the heat off Loki’s breath against the scarification.

Which should totally not be as nice as it is.

“How come,” Loki asks in that all too slow and sex-lazy way he does that says he’s about two seconds from dozing off, “you never touch me first anymore?”

Tony would freeze, but he’s not moving. As it is, he blinks a few time. His mouth, never one to wait for his brain, is more than happy to open though.

“I thought—”

“I like it better when you don’t overthink us,” Loki adds with a little sigh of air, then he’s very definitely burrowed the rest of the way against Tony’s side and is asleep.

“Loki? Loki, what do you mean—” Tony makes a helpless noise as Loki’s nose twitches a little in his sleep.

***

What if Tony’s been _wrong_ this whole time?

**4.**

“ _Bruce_.”

Bruce tries to not preemptively sigh. He knows that tone of voice--Tony’s done something again, and now he thinks Bruce must be the one with the answer, nevermind Bruce’s repeated reminders he is not a shrink.

Bruce tries ignore Tony in favour of his book for as long as he can, which is exactly twenty more words--almost a new personal record.

“Bruce, I think I fucked up with Loki.”

Bruce does sigh this time. Why does Tony think that he knows everything to do with Loki? He doesn’t, he’s just his doctor. _Physical health_.

“Oh?” Bruce says instead of draw out the inevitable. Not that it matters. Tony’s already started ranting.

“--I mean I just thought I was being a good boyfriend? I thought I _wasn’t_ being a good boyfriend before! I thought it was just all alpha hormonal bullshit, so I checked online, and everywhere online says that it is dumb hormonal bullshit and I’m just being a too touchy, clingy alpha! But then Loki comes crashing into the workshop and he thinks I’m overthinking things! Me!”

Bruce sets his book aside and studies Tony.

“I learned opera Bruce! _Opera_! And I maybe didn’t have to!”

“Did you talk to him?” Bruce asks.

That gets Tony to stop pacing too and an awkward head rub.

“So no.”

“I just wanted to….”

“Be a good boyfriend, I got that.” Bruce considers Tony for a few moments, but other than the awkwardness at not having asked Loki, Tony’s still otherwise unashamed. “Why did you learn opera?”

“So he could talk to me about it, duh.”

“Let me guess, you’ve been cranky because you’ve stopped talking to Loki about all the little things that you used to, learned a bunch of things that Loki is interested in but never talks to you about, and been risking all of our lives by letting Loki field his own handshakes?” Bruce can’t say he’s surprised, but he still marvels a bit at how obtuse Tony can be sometimes.

“... yes?”

“Okay, stop that.” Bruce runs a hand through his hair and sighs, shaking his head. “Why do you always come to me for this? Why do I know all of this stuff? Why can’t you just keep talking to Loki about these things?”

“You’re my favourite genius,” Tony supplies readily.

“Right.” Bruce takes a breathe. “Look, I get what you were trying to do, but those guides are more for alphas who are crap at it and are trying to figure out a good starting point. Which they need. Which you don’t.”

Tony doesn’t look like he believes Bruce, but then considering how royally Tony’s botched things by going looking for those guides, Bruce is willing to cut him a little slack on his disbelief.

“You know _why_ Loki doesn’t try to talk to you about opera?”

“Because he thinks—”

“Because you _don’t like it_ ,” Bruce cuts in before Tony can say anything. “Because he can talk to Steve, who does like opera, and have a way more satisfying conversation than trying to make his boyfriend talk about opera. Just like how he goes shopping with Natasha, just like he plays pranks on Clint. As much as you seem to think it sometimes, Loki doesn’t focus on you. He’s in a pack. Just like you are. You don’t have to be the only person who supports him.”

Tony still looks doubtful, but he also looks a bit guilty. So Bruce is probably getting through.

“You make it so he can deal with us, Tony.”

“But he likes you guys.”

“Yeah, because _you’re_ here. You do all the things that make it so he can handle us. Somehow. I know this is probably a novel idea, but Loki likes you for you. You being touchy and getting between people and him and just generally being obnoxious and stealing the spotlight and just being… you.”

Tony frowns.

“So please, for the love of my sanity, just talk to him. Do what you were doing before this mess. Okay? You aren’t being a crap boyfriend, you don’t need self-help websites. Not on this anyway.”

“I’ll think about it,” Tony finally says. He flashes one of his cocksure grins, even if his eyes give away he isn’t actually as sure as he’s acting. “Thanks Bruce.”

“Any time, Tony,” Bruce says. “But not actually.”

Tony laughs.

**5.**

So far, Loki has not noted any major change in Tony. Then again, it’s only been a day.

Still.

Loki really wishes he would _hurry up_ , because today Steve’s decided to bring Sam to meet the rest of the pack.

(Loki is very happy for Steve. Sam is _certain_ to be a good person, Steve doesn’t tend to meet many who aren’t, and anyone who has Steve this happy almost certainly is. But that does not change the fact Loki is raw enough without needing to be polite to someone new.)

Maybe he should murder Tony. Even if he is not successful, perhaps just the attempt will be enough to shock Tony into acting like himself again. And if the attempt is successful, it will relieve a great deal of Loki’s stress.

It doesn’t seem like he can lose.

Loki has, thus far, managed to avoid the common room of the Tower, knowing full well that Steve will be there with Sam. He would long since have gone to meet the newest (possible) packmate if Tony were himself, but as it is, he’s had a very trying two weeks now and doesn’t really want to meet Sam. Perhaps Steve would have told him Loki doesn’t do touching if the person is not Tony?

Perhaps, but it is just as likely Steve simply didn’t think of it. It isn’t like people get brought to meet the rest of the pack every day, after all.

It’s a twinge of guilt that makes him venture down. This is his pack, not some business meeting, and it’s very likely he’s going to see Sam around quite often. He owes it to Steve, if nothing else.

***

As predicted, Sam is with Steve. He can hear them in the kitchen, and Loki contemplates turning and leaving before they notice that he is there and the obligatory round of introductions begins.

But no, here they come. Steve’s face lights up as he sees Loki and Loki makes himself smile, keeps his shoulders from tensing.

“I didn’t know if we’d see you today,” Steve says, smile good natured and laugh just as much so. It makes Loki want to kick himself; Steve would not have taken offense if Loki had not appeared. At his side Sam is watching Loki curiously, but with a smile of his own. Not quite as broad as Steve’s but then, they don’t know each other yet.

There is absolutely no sign of Tony.

“You know how the work is,” Loki says, like that means anything. “And you must be Sam? Steve has said quite a lot about you.”

Maybe Sam won’t want to shake hands if Loki simply preempts Steve’s introduction.

“This is Loki,” Steve says, because no, there isn’t a rude bone in his body unless the person is an enemy, which Loki is (unfortunately, in this case) not. “He keeps us running behind the scenes, fewer meltdowns.”

“I do no such thing,” Loki says, because it’s true. He just helps Tony, really.

Steve laughs, as if Loki’s being modest.

“Nice to meet you,” Sam says, holding a hand out to shake.

Loki can do this. He will shake Sam’s hand and then go wash his hands a thousand times and then he will go and murder To—

“Great to meet you too,” Tony says, slipping against Loki’s side like a puzzle piece, a hand steadying him even as Tony jostles him a bit too much. Tony is shaking Sam’s hand, ignoring Sam’s confusion and clear distaste for his rudeness, his million watt grin on even as his hand grips tight in Loki’s shirt where no one else can see.

“I’m Loki’s boyfriend,” Tony says, because he needs little other introduction.

Loki can’t help the sigh that slips out though he manages to catch it, much as he can’t help the way he ends up leaning against Tony, the relief running through him that Tony is exactly where he almost always is whenever Loki meets someone new.

Embarrassing, terribly horribly embarrassing, especially as Sam’s eyes flick between them and seems to realize that there’s a little more going on there than just Tony being, well, _Tony_.

Later, Loki is sure, Steve will fill in the gaps--America’s golden boy already looks stricken that he’d forgotten to tell Sam that Loki simply doesn’t _do_ touch--but for right now, it doesn’t matter.

He has Tony exactly where he should be, and he’s glad that he’s finally let go of whatever idea he got in his head in the first place.

Perhaps Loki should try fucking sense into Tony more often.

 

 


End file.
